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Purim

Cracks the Rabbi

Questions That We Didn't Know How To Answer
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Every once in a while, there comes a question which Cracks the Rabbi

Purim Special



The following are actual questions we received at "Ask the Rabbi" that, well, we just didn't quite know how to answer...

Name@Withheld from Argentina wrote:

Dear Rabbi,

Shalom. In order to complete a text I need some missing words in Hebrew. My dictionary doesn't have them. Could you spell the following words in Hebrew (using Latin letters, as my e-mail program does have Hebrew)? The words I need spelled are: Globalization, New Age, International Monetary Fund, New World Order, Neo-liberalism, Internet, Wide World Web, computer, Rome, World Bank, Bar Code, William Henry Gates III, Bill Gates, Brussels. Sorry for the inconvenience but I have no one else to help me on this matter. Ciao!


Name@Withheld from Belgium wrote:

Dear Rabbi,

I have a few questions: When it's the New Year, Jewish people eat apple in honey; do you have a recipe? Do men help cleaning the house when it's Easter? Who is Haman? How does his head look like?


Name@Withheld wrote:

Dear Rabbi,

Can a vegetarian eat animal crackers?


And here are some we didn't know how to answer, but we did anyway...

Name@Withheld wrote:

Dear Rabbi,

Does television have any educational value?

Dear Name@Withheld,

I must say that I personally find television very educational. The minute somebody turns on the television, I go to the library and read a book.


Name@Withheld wrote:

Dear Rabbi,

What is "Cole's Law"?

Dear Name@Withheld,

Thinly sliced cabbage with mayonnaise.


Name@Withheld wrote:

Dear Rabbi,

I would like to thank you for using the letters "Shabbat" to spell Shabbat. I enjoy reading many Jewish books in English but the one thing that always bothers me is Shabbat spelled "Shabbos." While that may be the pronunciation of many English-speaking Jewish people, they don't write tzedaka as "tzdukuh." Thank you.

Dear Name@Withheld,

Yer welkum! Yasher Koiach!.


Shlemazel Puzzle

Contents

What was King Solomon's mother-in-law's name. (Give seven hundred answers)

SPECIAL PURIM PRIZE!!

First correct answer* to the Shlemazel Puzzle wins 1,000 dollars**!

*Entries must be written with an Australian emu feather on Tibetan yak parchment and sent by Libyan camel to Faad Zingbaum, Qatar, no later than the day before yesterday. A Money Order issued by the Central Bank of Sarajevo for $350 must accompany all entries as an entrance fee.

**Canadian dollars, paid out in installments: One dollar a year for a thousand years!

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